In the middle of whatever, i came to whatever, where I found whatever. Nothing really matters when no one can make you feel nothing.

Dear reader, you’ll never be able to make me feel a thing, and that’s an issue, we’re a social species, living in so-called societies that forces responsibilities upon us assuming that we’re social, and while I’m somehow your sociable guy -i true love some people-, it seems like i’m not that sociable enough.

It’s hard to make me feel a thing, and it’s impossible to make feel like you’re competent enough that I can trust you with something related to my life, or even anything remotely close to it. I’ve never felt it when someone said “I’m proud of you”, “You’re good at X”, or luckily.. “You suck at Y”. All of my feelings originate within me, but never out. I can rarely trust someone’s opinions when it comes to my life, I can rarely feel their sympathy or compassion, and god forbid you do my fucking work or handle a task on one of my fucking accounts.

You’ll never find the hand reaching out for help, because yours can’t extend further, you’ll never find whatever you're looking for, because the oceans are to vast for one person, and they will never enough, because nothing is enough.

The issue is… that the issue is multi-layered, within you there’s a hyper-independent you that won’t accept external criticism, especially when it comes to them being hyper-independent, it’s a shield, but in the same time it’s a crown of thorns, or at least that’s how I like to think of it since Jesus is one of my favorite characters of all time.

Life is a giant cross -yes, that’s another christianity reference- that wasn’t meant to be carried alone, I mean even Jesus himself didn’t carry his cross alone, so what the fuck am I doing? I dunno.